Usually I try and be humorous in my blogs, ever since my mom stopped reading it because she found my blog depressing, but I'm kind of pensive today.
It's April 2nd, and life had gone differently, it would be A's and my fourth year anniversary. But as the world turns, we've both moved on. We are both in relationships with other people, and I know mine now at least is healthier. I just wonder when I'll stop thinking on April 2nd "What if?" Which I have no right to be thinking to begin with.
I blame it mostly on myself, which makes it harder to accept that all the conclusions I've come to now, after about a year of not talking, I can't share with him. I know I hurt him, but now that I know why and could explain, I can't tell him. I'm not allowed to, and I shouldn't be. So I keep my explanations to myself, and hope that he is happy.
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