Almost 10 years ago

I wrote this for an 8th grade assignment. Advice from my mom:

"Life" - 11/30/1999

This is how you clean the bathtub so you can see the cracks... This is how you shake someone's hand: firmly and quickly, but never drop it like you can't stand the person. If your hand is not firm, people will be reminded of a fish. I always judge people by their handshake... Never show your stomach while walking down the street, it doesn't instill trust in people. Change your clothing for different types of people, be more conservative when around the elderly and around people my age... Keep your appointments, always call people back, be nice to everyone, you might need their votes later. This is how you hand up on a telemarketer nicely. Never believe people who say you have won money. This is how you say "I don't like you" without hurting the person...Never show people your underwear, even if its the days of the week kind. Never be flashy, if you have a name brand, don't show it. Do not take offense unless you know the person meant it. 

Circa 1998

Never complain or explain. Apologize, suggest a remedy and stop talking. 

Thanks Mom. I love you.