The Situation:

My friend is house sitting for someone. He is not house sitting as much as watching their cat die, which sadly happened last night.

How it unfolded:

Monday Morning: It begins
“Ok, now here's the disclaimer: my primary role as housesitter is to keep the cat alive. that's not going so well. the cat is just incredibly old, and is basically waiting to die. he is neither eating nor drinking, and has almost no mobility. so he might live for a little while longer, or he might die at any moment. i spoke to greg's parents about the situation, and their basic approach is that he'll go when he's ready to go. so i just want each of youto know what type of feline situation you'll be walking into. if it so happens that he dies while you guys are here tomorrow (i wish i could give you guys odds, but i honestly don't know), then obviously that will be the end of our dinner party. i don't know if i'll need help in that scenario, or i might just want you all to leave so i can figure out what to do with a dead cat. again, i just wanted you all to know what you're walking into.”

“You can just put it in the freezer!”

“it's not dead yet. various suggestions i've heard include putting it in the freezer, putting it in cooler with ice, and burying it in a pillowcase. I think when/if the moment comes i'm going to call stan and aline and then go to a vet. they'll know what to do with a dead cat. uuuuugh this is really eerie."

Monday Afternoon: The conversation turns to gross
"that is true. it is eerie being on dead cat watch so if it dies when they
are away the house doesn't start to smell.

ewww... smell."

Monday Night: The cat dies.
To me:
“well, the watch is over. i came home to a dead cat today. my mom is on her
way down here. i just don't like this at all.”

To all:
“so this is an awkward update, but i think you guys should know before coming here tomorrow.
the cat died today. so that's that. see you tomorrow.”


“What did you do with it?”

Tuesday afternoon: It concludes.
"there is a cat in the freezer.
i wish i were joking, but i'm not.
i had to throw out some ice cream and ice cubes to make room."

My Last Word

I couldn't stop laughing at this. I am a terrible person.