I am, by external definition, an adult. I pay my own bills, I cook myself dinner, I am fairly self-reliant. Instead of thinking about what college to go to, or what is happening next year, or even next week, I think of things in a longer span. What do I want in life? Where do I want to live? While these decisions do not need to be made (and in my mind, shouldn't be made right now), they are still there. Floating.
I am, by internal definition, an adult. My pre-frontal cortex should be (and hopefully is) fully developed, meaning that I make informed, if not good decisions. I can think through my actions to their logical consequence or conclusion. I don't get excessively wrapped up in my friends' lives and problems. While I do care, I know when to stop. I don't feel things as deeply. A snide comment is not enough to ruin my day. I know what society expects. I have matured beyond the morality of "if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." That is from Kohlburg.
Perhaps most importantly, I am, by contrast, an adult. My students are teenagers, who are in no way adults. They are getting ready for prom, and their not-quite-maybe-soon to be developed pre-frontal cortex does not prioritize school over prom. They have their own world. They are better at being friends than I am. My adolescent development prof told us: "Teenagers are good at being friends. They are better than any other age group." They sometimes forget societal norms of politeness and consideration. They want to have fun. They get sucked into activities I would find boring. They feel deeply.
That is what I have been thinking about recently; feeling deeply. I don't know if now I can feel as deeply as I did in high school. It is certainly exhausting to see almost everything as a crisis that demands your whole attention. However, I kind of miss it. The caring too much about your friends. The doing stupid things.
On the flip side, I am happy where I am. I don't want to relive those years, but I'm glad I had them.
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