Life List

One of the bloggers I read has written a life list - 100 things to do before she dies. I think this is a little gruesome and also I would feel daunted. 100 things to do is a lot. I'm just trying to focus on one day at a time. Like today, I have a slightly challenging list for the main reason that it includes my taxes.

So:
Go for run
Finish Cicero by Antony Everitt
Finish Vermont State Taxes
Finish New York State taxes (I have already filed and recieved my federal tax refund - I'm slightly on the ball)
Grade some student work.
Prepare for classes
Do Laundry
Replace registration sticker on car
Make appointment for car repair
Write best selling novel. (Ok, that is not today, nor in the future)
Write in journal (naval gazing must be scheduled in, otherwise I'll spend time watching TV in which I should be leaving a written record of my boring life for no one to read.

Speaking of naval gazing, I wonder why people write in journals and keep blogs, and maybe both. I know I fear the transience of life. I don't want to be just a piece of dust that goes with the flow. Leaving a record of what I'm thinking about, or how I think about things, are was with which I try to embed myself in the world. Most of the time I feel so out of control, that I'm not doing what I should be doing, or enough to validate my existence, that the only way I can curb those feelings is to write about nothing and everything.

So this blog is everything and nothing. My journal, more so. The question is what happens to them after I die. (Which, hopefully, is not for a very long time.) I'll exist as a ghost on the internet for a while, and my journals - like Kafka, I could ask them to be burnt, but preferably, They'd be hermetically sealed so in 200 years I can humanize the people who lived in the late 20th century for someone, and make us more than history, floating by on the breeze.

This post quickly became morbid.... Sorry about that!